For those who live with a chronic illness, life can feel pretty lonely some times. It seems as if no one understands or believes the severity of your pain. It’s especially tough when your illness can physically and emotionally take you from your loved one.
I myself have been living with a chronic illness and plenty of chronic pain for almost the last 14 years. (I’m barely 20.)
To read more about my illnesses and why I started my blog, click here.
So here are 4 things you should never, ever say to someone living with a chronic illness or pain.
1.“You have good days though.”
Yes, I am aware that some days are better. I actually have days where I can leave the house. However, when I am having a flare up or “attack” as I call them, that doesn’t help me. Today isn’t a good day and reminding me of said good days only makes it worse.
When I am having an attack or flare up, I’m usually doubled over on the floor. I don’t want to hear that you think this is nothing compared to my good days.
2.“If you just go, you’ll feel better.”
If I have had to make the decision to cancel plans or miss out on something, chances are it was a tough decision. And in case you were wondering, I don’t actually enjoy sitting at home in pain while my friends are out having fun without me.
So trust that I know my own body and my own limits. If I say I can’t go, it’s for good reason. Going out won’t magically make my pain disappear.
3.“Why don’t you just try?”
I don’t even know where to start with this one. I’ve heard it countless amounts of time and it’s still one of the most insensitive things you could say.
I try every day. To get out of bed. To get dressed. My effort never stops. So please don’t ask me to “just try.”
As I said earlier, If I’ve made a decision to not do something, it’s because I know I can’t. And if you think for one moment that I am not trying, you don’t belong in my circle.
4.“It’s all in your head.”
RUDE. Is all I can say. I once had a doctor say this right to my face and suggest I go see a therapist.
There is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing worse than being in physical pain and not being believed. It seems pretty obvious but you’d be surprised how many people actually say this to others. Just don’t.
And that is my list. Thank you so much for reading, it really means a lot to me. To each and every one of you living with a chronic illness or chronic pain, you are so strong. Please do not ever feel bad for taking time for you and putting yourself/body first. You deserve it.
To catch up, you can read my last blog post here.